hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize