I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
