I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize