That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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