no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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