a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I stole a fireplace last night.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
