I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize