woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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