yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
