You're my little dorito
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
