forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
