forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
