i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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