If i come over, it means nothing
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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