It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
