I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
There r osticjed everywhere
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
