who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
