Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Buhtt sex?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
operation have a gay friend backfired
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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