he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The air taste purple.
Randomize
