I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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