the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
