We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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