New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
