I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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