You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize