That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
