goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
we're so committed to being not committed
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
