If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize