I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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