My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
