the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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