They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
