this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
