i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize