At least make sure they are 18
Why
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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