That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize