I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
