Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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