An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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