I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
