Porn is love you can see.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
