So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
