it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
