You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
