With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
