I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
