In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
