the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize