i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Randomize
