Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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