I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
