dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
