dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
