You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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