WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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