so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
