that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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