i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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