he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
