my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
