The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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