return my video game
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
True strength comes from lack of pants
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
