so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Michael Bay diarrhea
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize